Monday, April 27, 2009

Ever wondered where time flies....??
Seems like just yesterday that I had so many dreams.....so many plans.....so many hopes…. of doing something....of becoming someone....
Sitting here today, all I can think of is - how much everything has changed.

A few years ago, I was full of dreams and completely gung-ho about making things happen for me. I used to wake up every morning with a purpose for life….with an agenda. And the nights used to see me bubbling with glee for getting just one wee step closer to my dream. But somewhere along the way, life kicked in. Unknowingly, my dreams…. and the very essence of me….. were sidetracked and I lost touch with “me”. I just took life as it came, never questioning or looking beyond the choices it offered me.

To cut a long story short – I became a kind of puppet, whose invisible strings were pulled by some unknown forces. I just gradually drifted away with the tides, never even trying to hang on to a drifting log to stop and think…..or look back ….or work up the courage to swim, instead. Suddenly I was living the exact life I always dreaded!! Wake up in the morning….barely even realize that I’m awake and ready to face the world….start the inevitable morning rush, lest I get late for the job I hate….sit glued to my seat till its time to go back home....then try to sleep – coz the next day, I have to go over the same “routine” all over again.

If this was not bad enough, I didn’t even realize that I’m not “me” anymore!! I lived under false impressions of having “freedom” on weekends and trying to do something better with myself after “official” hours. My dreams were pushed so far behind into a li’l box, in the farthest recesses of my brain that I actually have difficulty even remembering what I wanted to do, in the first place!!

But believe it or not, a birthday always makes u sit up and take notice – even if just for a few moments. Some people take notice and then take actions before its too late……some people just shrug it off…..some take notice, vow to do something and then forget about it….and some people pretend not to take notice at all - or they may have to admit, at least to themselves, that their “comfort-zone” is not so comfortable after all!!

Having just had a “happy” birthday myself, I cant help but look at myself…. I cant help but question myself for ignoring the warning signs and yet not doing anything.

But as someone once said “Better late….than never!” Today, it has taken me the better part of the day to admit that time does, indeed, fly…..and if you don’t spread your wings and fly with it….. you will undoubtedly be blown away…..without a trace.

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